Additional Resources

To help you along the way.

On the day people say, “I do”, there are few who imagine a time when they’ll say, “I don’t”. In the post-separation roller-coaster, it is usual for parenting skills to suffer for up to two years. This makes a lot of sense – no matter how amicable your separation is and how careful you are to protect your children, it is likely one of the most stressful events you have ever had to navigate. There are many decisions to make, and negotiations to step through with someone you used to love and now have different (and possibly many) feelings towards. Be gentle and kind with yourself in this process. Here are my top recommendations and resources for parents navigating the aftermath of separation.

Seeking Advice is Healthy, not Adversarial

In pre-separation lives, most people’s working knowledge of who does/gets/chooses what is understandably limited, based at best on stories from other people who have been through something “similar”. Getting some early, expert advice can save you many mistakes, months of stress, and thousands of dollars.

Co-Parenting Coaches

You are not expected to have a working, up-to-date knowledge of the best shared care arrangements for your children’s developmental ages and stages; or the difference between shared care, and shared parental responsibility. You’re not meant to be a master of perfect co-parenting across two homes by the end of week one. Co-Parent Coaching is a great first step for understanding how to best support your children in your new situation. Find out more about Co-Parenting Coaching.

Family Lawyers

If you know your separation is likely to involve high levels of conflict or litigation or there are concerns regarding abuse, it is crucial to understand your legal position. An initial meeting with a Family Lawyer can help reassure you and outline your most precise pathways to resolve disputes outside of a complete legal process. Lawyers who belong to the Collaborative Professionals Network are focussed on helping clients reach rapid, out-of-court solutions.

Financial Planners and Accountants

When navigating the financial separation, an initial chat with an Accountant or Financial Advisor can help you understand your rights and responsibilities and quickly orient you to how to best separate financially. This can include helping you understand how child support works; and how decisions about divisions of assets are made. Accountants and Financial Planners trained in Collaborative Processes can serve as an excellent neutral third party to help you and your co-parent achieve a rapid, fair, low-conflict financial separation.

Testimonial

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With your support we got to a parenting agreement quickly, cheaply and relatively painlessly. I think your service is exactly what we needed and probably what many "new" co-parents need but don't necessarily find. My worst fear in embarking on this journey was that I would find myself separated from the children for some extended period while we worked through the logistics. With your support that did not happen and I feel more connected to the children at the moment than ever before.

5
Dave, Perth, WA
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One benefit I have experienced with Co-Parenting Companion is being kinder to myself. I am reminded that I am not the only one in this situation.

5
Liz, Regional WA
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Tiffany is that unbiased third party that genuinely has the children’s best interests at the forefront. I particularly like the phrase Tiffany uses of “Be the co-parent you wish you had.” Read that again. Now, read that again. It helps.

5
Liz, Regional WA
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My husband is also a parent, co-parent and step-parent and the Co-Parenting Companion has provided the perfect platform allowing us to discuss, problem solve and understand each other’s views better.
Our relationship has benefited, our children benefit, and we now treat our weekly update from Tiffany as an opportunity to "check in" with each other and pat ourselves on the back.

5
Mel, Perth, WA
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I would recommend the Co-Parenting Companion to family and friends to help reduce the pressure that ultimately affects the children negatively. Co-Parenting Companion provides a support network to help the children, rather than people taking sides.

5
Elizabeth, Regional WA
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Each week when I know there will be an interesting story or message about how to be a good parent and a great co-parent for our kids. It helps lighten the load by sharing how best to raise kids in separate households. I also enjoy drinking a cup of tea and taking time to read it over the weekend- as recommended. Keep up the good work Tiffany.

5
Jenni, Perth, WA
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Tiffany hits the mark with her information and advice that seems personally written for me and my situation. This is my reason for recommending Tiffany to other parents, as there is something here for everyone amongst the advice, tips and explanations provided by Tiffany every week.

5
Melissa, Perth, WA
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Co-Parenting Companion advice is helpful to navigate the road that I never imagined taking. The resources can be humorous at times, as well as informative, always interesting, and very useful for our situation.
The Co-Parenting Companion has helped me to be more aware of ways to improve my co-parenting.

5
Elizabeth, Regional WA
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Co-Parenting Companion helps me confidently approach any co-parenting issue with the children’s best interests foremost and has provided me comfort when things haven’t gone so well. The balance of information, explanation and kindness provided in my weekly update is best described as the “fuel” I need for the sometimes long and stressful times that we can experience from time to time.

5
Melissa, Perth, WA
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I have been a subscriber to the Co-Parenting Companion since its inception. My favourite thing is the stabilising effect Tiffany’s wise and balanced words have upon my parenting and co-parenting efforts.

5
Melissa, Perth, WA

This book is cheap, short, easy to read, and is an excellent guide for talking to your kids about your separation and the other parent. It’s best read before there’s even an opportunity for your kid to start resisting seeing your co-parent. With chapters written for both the favoured and unfavoured parent, it is chock-full of useful tips and even examples of scripts to help you talk to your kids. The authors have worked with complex child-parent estrangement problems for many years, and this book gives quick and easy access to their extensive collective wisdom.

Communication Apps

This subscription-based service will cost you less for a year than you pay your lawyer or coach for an hour, and that alone makes it excellent value (around $100USD). This website and its associated app are designed to improve co-parenting between separated parents. Increasingly, it is being included in Court Orders to reduce family conflict. It contains tools to simplify the coordination of shared residential care, including:

  • A family calendar to track the children’s activities and organise parenting time trades.

  • An expense log for keeping track and splitting relevant expenses.

  • A payment transfer system that keeps track of your reimbursement documentation for you.

  • A shared space for keeping your children’s health and school records.

  • A trail of documentation that’s easy to download if required for any conflict resolution process. Every action is stamped with who made it and when.

Here are my two favourite features:

  • A “Tonemeter” that will help improve your communication with your co-parent, alerting you to aspects of your communication that may come across as emotional, aggressive, or hurtful.

  • If necessary or desired, you can easily add your Co-Parenting Coach or Lawyer (at no additional cost), who can oversee interactions and make recommendations.

Children can also have a free account, which allows them to view the shared family calendar and message boards, create and view journal entries, and view the family resources section.

2houses.com offers a similar service at a similar price point, with a free 14-day trial.

Divvito is a free messaging app for separated parents. It will flag messages that use inflammatory language and delay sending them to give you time to revise your message. The app will replace harsh words with less harmful alternatives if you do not modify the statement. The app organises conversations by topic to make it easier to keep track of decisions. It does not preview contents in push notifications, so your children are less likely to see them accidentally.

Mental Health Professional

The emotional rollercoaster of a relationship ending is enormous. A mental health professional can provide a neutral, safe space to honour your emotions, foster self-compassion, and explore options for recovery from the trauma of relationship breakdown. Ensure that your mental health professional has experience in working with separated families and understands the legal processes that can become involved. It can be beneficial to give your mental health professional permission to share information, at your discretion, with other treating health professionals involved in the family system, particularly if a Family Therapist has been appointed.